The Vigilant
by The Kubrickian
Summary: Hermione Granger has written a romantic novella... about herself and Harry Potter. This inevitably gets lost, and it winds up in the hands of the Twins, who publish and sell it (with no one the wiser about who wrote it). To save face, both Hermione and Harry start an "investigation" to find the author, which soon finds Hermione trying to frame someone else to save her friendship.
1. Of Secret (and Currently Lost) Novellas

_Disclaimer_: I actually own everything. Just kidding. I own nothing except the premise through which I have the characters created by JKR play through. The scenario in which the story is set takes place in a partially-AU fifth year, in which Voldemort was defeated (again) by Harry at the graveyard at the end of fourth year. I won't go into detail about this, so you can make up your own scenarios.

Also, no Umbridge. For the DADA teacher, Dumbledore was able to re-hire Lupin (I'll cross that bridge when I get there). Also there are countless references inside to many other pieces of fiction, primarily the anime/manga _Death Note. _Not enough to be considered a crossover, though.

Anyway, onwards!

**Chapter 1: Of Secret (and Currently Lost) Romantic Novellas**

_Harry looked into her with his deep, emerald eyes, seemingly as if looking at her for the first time. She was very sure that by this point she was very red in the face and accordingly put her head down. His hand came to rest at her chin, and he slowly tilted her head back up to look at him._

"_You fancy me, Hermione?" That _was_ what she said, was it not? Not allowing her head to tilt back down, she looked at him, and said, her insides having been either cooked or turned into stone:_

"_Yes, and I have been since you saved me from the troll."_

"_But Ron saved you from the troll-"_

"_If it wasn't for you Harry, he never would have gotten at the troll. You distracted it."_

"_But…." He stopped, trying to think of a counter-argument, but realized that there was none. _

_She was almost to the point of tears. "I'm sorry we ruined our friendship, Harry. You don't have to ever talk to me again."_

_With that, she at the very least attempted to go back upstairs, but she was stopped in her tracks by a certain Boy-Who-Lived._

"_But why wouldn't I want to talk to you?"_

"_Because I love you Harry! And you don't, and never will!"_

_She had said it. She said she loved Harry Potter. It was as if she'd been hit with a Confundus charm. And from the looks of it, it looked like he had been hit with something similar, as his face was an unidentifiable combination of happiness, confusion, and worry. How could she have seen the happiness, though?_

_She tried to go back up into her dorm._

_Hermione could no longer see him, but before she could shut him out completely she heard a voice say:_

"_But Hermione! I love you too!"_

_She stopped dead, and heard a smack as an aforementioned Harry slapped his hand over his mouth. Slowly but surely, she neglected her previous intention and went back down to him._

_He was unease. He slowly brought his gaze up to her. Then she asked him a question-_

"_You love me?"_

_It took him a while to answer._

"_Yes, and I have since you were petrified in 2__nd__ year. Pompfrey never told you, but there was one night were I stayed at your bedside until morning came. Snape got onto me for sleeping in his class the next day, but…. What I mean to say, I saw you in a different light ever since then, I realized that there was something between us…. That wasn't just being best friends."_

"_I thought Ron was your best-"_

"_He's my best _mate_, as in guy-to-guy, but you're by best _friend_, meaning all around, boy or girl, on terms of friends. But I realized that I don't just think of you as a friend anymore. I love you, Hermione."_

_There was no need for any more words. They looked at each other with the love they had missed out on for four years, and slowly, they leaned in._

_When their lips finally met, both could feel their insides suddenly melt away into nothingness. When they finally parted, they exchanged their love for one another once more, and nothing in the world could ever break them apart._

_For they were one soul now._

Hermione Granger's hand finished writing down all the words that were coming out of her head. She had written sappy love stories like this one before, but this one was by far the most romantic with her and her secret love. However many pages of parchment she had accumulated to write this entire novella of hers down had come in handy.

She was alone in the common room, at night, with everyone else asleep. She turned to the fire and thought.

You see, it was about three weeks ago that another plot idea arrived in her head, and it was like a lot of her secret stories were; she fell in love with her best friend, Harry Potter, and a series of unfortunate yet slightly hilarious and amazing events occurred afterwards, ending in her embarrassment, Harry's falling in love with her, and Ron's likely dismemberment.

And all of them ended with a kiss that Hermione only could dream of.

If only this were more than just a dream….

Hermione started writing fiction stories involving her friends even before she went to Hogwarts. At her old school, she and her friends would come up with ideas of fabulous adventures, and ask Hermione to write them, considering she was the most skilled in language and literary arts. And she obliged them, setting her friends up with the guys or girls they liked, and a happy ending for all present.

So, when she went to Hogwarts, a feeling of nostalgia kicked in, and she decided of make the best of her situation of being friendless by writing fantastical stories about some adventures she could get into at this school. But as she was writing them, she realized she was missing something:

A love interest. That was about the time she met/became friends with/fell hopelessly in love with Harry Potter, the famous Boy-Who-Lived.

Ever since, she wrote the kind of romantic-comedy that she had just finished writing. This, however, was her longest work, spanning many long pieces of parchment. Perhaps she would change the names and sell it for a book deal when she was older. But then again, how many romantic interests in the world had lightning scars, black hair, and green eyes you could lose yourself in-

_Stop it, Hermione. You're only hurting yourself._

She smiled at her sudden thoughts and gazed into the fire for a moment more, another plot bunny possibly hopping through her head, and decided to retire and go up to her bed to sleep. She grabbed her parchment-novella and everything else of hers and went up to her dorm.

Little did she know what was going to happen that night….

~0~

Crookshanks was very bored. His master had gone to sleep and there was hardly anything else he could do to keep himself entertained. What was a tabby like himself to do in such a situation?

He turned and looked toward her bag. It looked like it could do with a good scratching. It was made of a perfect scratching material after all, wasn't it? The fabric looked so soft….

Temptation gave in, and there was a fresh hole in Hermione's school bag.

Crookshanks busied himself looking through his master's belongings, and found something curious. It was an assortment of papers, each with jumbles of human writing on them, as if written in haste. The cat could not easily understand such things, so did what he exampled many times during his first year as Hermione's pet-

He took it.

Paper grasped between his jaws, Crookshanks made off with the document. Then he strutted away to wander through the halls of the castle, his prize having been caught.

~0~

Crookshanks returned several hours later when the sun was just rising, and when he returned to the girls' dorm, his master was awake now.

Needless to say to any reader who has any sort of logic in his or her head, Crookshanks was novella-less. So Hermione did not notice that he had stolen anything. She was in her bed reading, and looked up when he entered the room.

She was slightly surprised and tried to whisper-scold him without waking the other sleepers in the room.

"Crookshanks! What have I told you about roaming the castle after-hours? You don't know what's-"

Crookshanks interrupted with a _meow _directed at her, and went over to her bag. It still had the hole in it, which Hermione only just noticed due to Crookshanks' gesturing.

She was a trifle mad at him, and spoke above her usual whisper slightly.

"Crookshanks? Why did you rip my bag?"

No response from Crookshanks, who was now stretching.

"Crookshanks! You didn't take anything, did you-"

"…shut the hell up, Hermione, I'm trying to sleep…"

"Sorry, Lavender!"

Ignoring Lavender's very brief but rude interruption, Hermione hastily grabbed her school bag and emptied out its contents onto her bed. Everything was there, her books, quills, parchment, except-

…except for one particular piece of parchment.

"Oh no….oh no oh no oh no oh no!"

She scurried through her belongings once, twice, thrice more, all with the same outcome. Her romantic Boy-Who-Lived-and-Brightest-Witch-of-Her-Age story (she was still trying to come up with a proper name for it, after all) was gone. Vanished. In resignation, she sighed.

"Bloody hell, I'm screwed if someone finds that."

~0~

Need I say that someone did find it? Of course someone did. Well, it wasn't really one person, after all.

Hermione quickly got dressed in some lackluster robes of hers and started to roam the school with Crookshanks in order to find her romantic Boy-Who-Lived-and-Brightest-…

Okay, she really needed a shorter name for that. What was there else, though? She could call it a Besties-relationship, perhaps? Not nearly as long as that first one…. But she wasn't really his best friend, after all, right? That was Ron…. Maybe just…

Harry-Hermione relationship?

Slightly long again…. Maybe she could shorten 'relationship'. Maybe just 'relation'? Still too long. Three syllables.

Maybe just 'ship'? That might work.

So, as she rounded another corner of the castle, she came to a suitable conclusion – Harry-Hermione ship. Right? Would that work?

The whole thing still had seven syllables. Not something you could say easily off the tip of the tongue.

She'll ponder the thought tomorrow. Right now she just needed to find her whatever-it's-called romance about her and Harry.

She rounded another corner, and deadened at the sight waiting for her.

Weasley Twin #1 and Weasley Twin #2 were waiting there, their backs toward Hermione. They presently could not see her. What were they doing?

She decided to back away slowly. But….

But what if they had her novella?

It was with this thought that she accidentally walked on Crookshanks, who hissed at her. She yelped in slight fear and slight confusion, and she stopped dead (again) in the middle of the hall, balancing on one foot.

As one, the twins' heads turned to see her. They grinned.

"Why, we have a student lurking about before school starts…."

"Naughty, naughty, huh, George?"

"Right on the money, Fred."

They turned to her, dressed in full Hogwarts attire, still grinning. George held something behind his back. If that was her story….

"What are you doing out, Granger?" asked George.

In an infinitesimal span of thought, Hermione deduced the following situation: _I wondering what is behind their back, so I'll be curious, but I'll need to explain to them why I'm out early, so… I'd naturally be looking for a book or quill, right? A book, more like-_

"I'm looking for a book that I lost yesterday."

Genuinely curious as always, Fred asked, "But why search now for the book? You have all today to look for it too."

George piped up as well. "Yeah, so naturally you'd want to look for the book without anyone knowing you're looking for said book, so what kind of book would that be?"

Hermione inwardly grimaced. _Damn, they got me. They're smarter than I thought._

She quickly deduced that if she came off like she was admitting a shameful secret, they'd use the bait to their own advantage. And so…

"It's one of my Muggle romance stories."

Fred and George both stopped in their tracks. She thought they would start laughing, but that wasn't the case.

"Oh, a Muggle romance story?" asked Fred.

Hermione successfully managed to fake a blush. It convinced the twins enough.

"What's it about?" asked George.

"It's about a girl who falls for her best friend." At least that much was the truth, so it wouldn't need to be specific-

"Oh, so you mean like you and Harry?" asked a smirking Fred.

Hermione managed to pale enough to where she seemed normal colored.

"Excuse me, Harry and I are just friends, thank you very much."

"Oh, really? Why are you two always together?" asked George.

"Ron's always with us."

"He says you two talk way too much, and he also thinks you two like each other."

"I thought Ron liked me-"

"Are you crazy? That's just weird, Hermione."

"Enough with the crazy conspiracies about Harry and me! What are you hiding behind your back anyway?"

Their expressions went down slightly.

"Why are you concerned about what I'm hiding behind my back? It's nothing important."

"I was just wondering, George. Can't I be curious?"

"Yes you may be curious."

Silence.

"Then what are you holding?"

"It is of no importance to you, Granger," said Fred. "It is merely our next profit."

_If they're thinking about selling my story I'll never hear the end of it from anyone… not to mention Harry will know about my affections, and pretty much everyone else in the school. Think, Granger, think…. What are my options?_

"What are you going to sell?" she asked them.

"It's none of your business. It's our business. In more way than one," Fred replied.

"Just tell me what it is. I won't get you in trouble for it unless it's really bad."

The twins looked at each other, and replied in unison, "So if we show you, then we won't get in trouble."

"Probably not."

_Wrong choice of words…. Drat!_

"All right then. George, show her."

"With pleasure, Fred."

George unveiled his prize to Hermione. It was…

"More Canary Creams?" she questioned.

"Ah, not Canary Creams, but these turn you into cardinals," said George cheekily.

Hermione inwardly sighed a breath of relief. "At least cardinals are prettier."

"So, dear Granger, I believe we must be off on our own business."

"Literally, I might add."

"So, _au revoir_, Hermione!"

And with that, Fred and George left Hermione alone with her cat. Unabated, Hermione continued on her journey to find the novella of hers.

When she was out of earshot, Fred and George piped up again.

"I wonder what her reaction will be, George."

"I don't know, but we regardless, whoever wrote this beauty is going to get a definite share of the profit."

They snickered.

"You always did have a trick up your sleeve, didn't you Fred?"

"Yes. Yes I have."

And from his sleeve, Fred pulled out a roll of parchment, filled with rushed handwriting, and one without an author's identity. They read enough of it to know that they could make a profit off of it _quickly_.

"What should we call this?" asked George.

"We shall call it Harmony!" accentuated Fred in a Shakespearean fashion. "Harry and Hermione! Combine their names and it sounds like what?"

"Harmony…. That's rather brilliant, Fred…."

~0~

Fred and George finished reading it about an hour later. Their faces wore smirks of simultaneous greed, anticipation, excitement, and the romantics inside each of them coming through and actually enjoying the story.

After they finished the story, about 30 copies were made in the next fifteen minutes, and since the story had no title/author, they decided to come up with one.

This was a long and arduous process.

"How about we call it _Harmony_ and have an explanation on the inside of the cover?" asked George.

"All right. That would work, the title's short enough. But we need a subtitle so people will read it obsessively" replied Fred.

"Right. I came up with the idea for the main title-"

"Which really, you stole from me-"

"-you should come up with a subtitle."

Fred's pondering at this overthrew his annoyance at his twin, and after a while, he replied, "_A Fiction Story Detailing the Falling in Love of the Boy Who Lived and his Best Friend, The Brightest Witch of Her Age."_

George wrote this down quickly, and when finished, replied with an "I love it."

"You know, we could actually start running our own publishing company. We could publish that prank book we've been at since fifth year," said Fred.

There actually was a joke/prank book the Twins had been coming up with, but it was only about half done. The physical first draft was currently sitting in Fred's trunk.

"Yeah, we could. Personally, I think this'll sell more."

"True. Now, since I basically came up with the entire title, George, _you_ design the opening page."

George groaned.

"But that'll take forever…"

"I think I'm going to go back to bed. Good night, George."

"But Fred! It's 5:30 in the morn-"

The door slammed, and George was left alone with his thoughts. Then… he had a brilliant idea.

~0~

"Dean!"

George was in the middle of the 5th year's dorm attempting to awake the aforementioned student with a good drawing hand. He had to try to be loud enough to wake up Dean and quiet enough to keep the other boys (including a certain Boy-Who-Lived and his best friend The Younger Brother) asleep.

It was not working.

"Dean!"

"…I didn't do it officer, I swear…"

Dean went back to snoring. George sighed. This needed drastic measures.

A forceful drag down to the common room and a bucket of cold water later, Dean was awake.

"Aagh! What the hell…? George! Is this your idea of a prank-?"

"Be quiet! I need your artistic skills for something that no one else can know about, and I need them now, and I pay well."

Dean stopped.

"How much do you pay?"

"A galleon?"

"….my fee is higher."

Dean wore a smirk.

"Ten galleons is as high as I go, Dean."

"And I'll take it. Let me go get dressed, and you get out the money."

Dean went to get dressed as he said he would, and George got out 10 galleons of Fred's money. When the two met again back in the common room, they conferred in hushed voices.

"Right then, what do you want me to do?" inquired Dean.

"Well, Fred and I found a story in the halls this morning-"

"-don't you mean last night?"

"Whatever, what I mean is, earlier we found a story, about, say 25 parchment pages long. Long parchment pages, packed with hastily-scribbled words. We couldn't figure out whose handwriting it was, that and it was illegible to most people, so we fixed it to where it looks prettier and reads easier."

"What's the story about?"

"It's about the forbidden love of Harry Potter and Hermione Granger."

At this, Dean almost died trying to contain his laughter. After he calmed himself (in the process wasting five minutes of George's valuable time), he asked, "So where do I fit in with all of this?"

"You are to draw the cover art."

Dean's eyes lit up like dollar signs.

"If I'm going to do that, I'd like a percentage of the profit."

"Screw yourself" was George's reply. "You'll receive enough payment when you see Harry and/or Hermione's faces, and trust me, if you do this right, then we will put you in a position where you do see just that."

A smirk not dissimilar from the twin's copyrighted trademark appeared on Dean's face.

"What do I draw then?"

"I'll leave it up to you, smart one. I'll be down in 30 minutes to check your progress."

"All right then. I have a brilliant idea…."

~0~

Hermione and Crookshanks were down on their luck. She forgot how long they'd been looking for the novella of hers, and they'd searched all over the castle for it, but to no avail. If that fell into the wrong hands…. There would be trouble.

Then…. An epiphany! She hadn't put a name on the thing.

There! That lifted any worries; and should anyone find it, they'll think it was a harmless joke. Maybe a day or two of teasing from this person (maybe more if they were the gossiping wonders she happened to have heard about from around the school), but no further embarrassment. And there was no way they could pen it on her.

And with this she strutted back off to Gryffindor tower again, confident, with her loyal Crookshanks at her side.

Of course, she was the last person Dean expected to be walking into the common room at about 6:30 in the morning. When she walked in, they saw each other and jumped slightly. After the initial shock, they quickly recovered and exchanged about as awkward of a greeting as there ever was.

"Morning," said Dean.

"…Morning," said Hermione.

Silence.

"How are you?" asked Dean.

"Good. Yourself?"

"Fine."

Silence.

"What are you doing?" asked Hermione.

"I could ask you the same thing."

"I was out looking for something."

"What?"

"A book of mine that I lost yesterday."

"What kind of book?"

Dean wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Hermione sighed, and hoped to repeat her fake blush from earlier.

"It's one of my Muggle romance stories. It's really embarrassing and I don't want anyone-"

"Muggle romance stories?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, I read those all the time!..."

And at this revelation, the room grew devoid of conversation yet again.

"So anyway, what are you doing, Dean?"

"I'm working on something of Fred and George's-"

He stopped, only just realizing he was speaking to one of the main romantic leads of the rom-com in question.

"You drawing something, then?"

"Er… Yeah."

"Can I see?" Hermione began to make her way over to Dean, who didn't have enough time to hide his handiwork.

What greeted Hermione on Dean's page were vague outlines of two mannequins, holding each other as if in love. She could see any facial features, but noticed that the shorter one had long, flowing hair (or at least the rough outline of it) so that meant this one was the girl.

"I saw Fred and George earlier in the halls, and they were toting around a box of their new Cockatoo Creams. Is this what you're working on?"

Seizing the moment, Dean nodded the affirmative. "Yeah, what I was going to do was have the guy and girl in this picture just normal about to kiss, and in the second picture, he was going to have turned into a cockatoo, and so I would put the occasional design here…"

As Dean lectured on about his non-existent labors with the Cockatoo Creams, Hermione would occasionally nod her head and act like she was getting what he was talking about. In reality her mind was focused on thinking:

_He's lying. It's obvious the twins _DID_ put him up to this, but they also showed me their CARDINAL creams, not COCKATOO creams. They're hiding something._

Two things briefly crossed her mind; number one was to remind the brothers about her idea for the cockatoo creams (maybe cockatoo crumpets?) and give them a nice idea to sell; number two was that maybe they had come across the possession of her novella since she had last spoken with them.

It was at this timely moment George came downstairs.

"So, Dean! How's the…."

George spotted that another human had entered the equation.

"Well, hello Hermione. We meet again."

"It would seem we had," answered Hermione, with an obvious façade of obliviousness to the situation.

"So…. What are you doing down here?" asked George.

"Oh, I was admiring Dean's artwork."

"Oh you were?" For once in his life, George was nervous.

"Aren't the Cockatoo Creams doing well?" asked Hermione, looking up at George.

"They're _Canary_ Creams, Hermione, we told you this earlier-"

Dean stopped drawing and did a double take. Only Hermione noticed, and inwardly smiled. They had fallen into her trap, and now she knew they _were _lying.

In a desperate bid to save himself, Dean added, "Oh! George? That was my fault."

"How so, Dean?" inquired George.

"She called them Cockatoo Creams earlier when she came in, and I forgot they were _Cardinal_ Creams instead of what she said…"

Dean tried to be a good actor, to convince Hermione, but it wasn't working. George was thinking.

_Either Hermione has a worse memory than any of us thought, or she's onto us. _

George thought for a second. Then-

_She's onto us._

"Hermione, I should have you know something. You see, what Dean is drawing is not the cover for the Cardinal Creams packaging, but he is actually designing a cover for a new book Fred and I have written."

Hermione was confused for a moment, and in her confusion did not notice Dean looking up to George with a quizzical look on his face, nor did she see George give him a glare that obviously read "shut up and let me handle this".

"What's the book about?" she asked.

"Well, there's no real plot, you see. It's actually only an informational prank book, giving the reader a resource of knowledge that we have obtained over the years."

"Oh really?"

"Really." George needed to reward himself sometime for his cleverness.

"What's the cover of the couple holding each other for, then?"

"That's me and Fred professing our brotherly love."

Hermione vaguely wondered whether the twins had ever seen _Ouran High School Host Club._

"Regardless, one of them has girl hair."

For the first time, George looked at Dean's drawing. He smiled.

"That's really good Dean."

"Thanks?"

George again turned to Hermione. "Look, do you want me to show you the first draft? We have it in our trunk."

Hermione gazed him skeptically. There was no way he could be able to conjure up a full-blown manuscript in enough time to avoid suspicion, if her theory was correct.

"Do it then" was Hermione's answer. George moved his hands in a gesture that attempted to calm her down, then went up to his dorm.

Hermione and Dean were alone, and there was silence upon the land.

Soon, George returned, manuscript in hand. He silently relinquished it to Hermione, who skimmed through it with ease. Her suspicions were shot down immediately. Pages after pages of jokes, pranks, how-to instructions, and don't-try-at-home ideas. They had obviously been working on this for a long time.

Hermione gazed up at George again, then gave him back the prank book. "All right. You've convinced me."

"What did you think we had?" asked George.

Now Hermione had fallen into his trap. It hadn't occurred to George until now that maybe Hermione had something to do with this.

"Something more dangerous and/or embarrassing to others."

"Such as?"

George was wondering where he could go with this interrogation. Dean was looking very confused.

"Dean?" asked George.

"Yes sir?" Dean may or may not have been terrified.

"Finish the cover in your dorm."

"All right."

Dean packed up his belongings and left for his dorm. George and Hermione were alone.

"Why'd you send Dean back up to his dorm?" asked Hermione.

"Because I wanted to talk to you privately."

"About what?"

"First of all, before we go any further, I would like for my brother to put up his Extendable Ear and come down here in person."

A small movement out of the corner of her eye made Hermione jump, and it took a moment to register that it was one of their Extendable Ears, like George had said. And sure enough, after a moment, Fred came downstairs to greet the two.

"Ah. George. Hermione. How art thou?"

"Fine enough. Can I confer with you alone, Fred?"

"Certainly."

The twins left Hermione to whisper in another corner of the room.

"So, George, what is it?"

"I'm starting to think that maybe Hermione had something to do with the origin of _Harmony._"

"I was coming to that same conclusion myself. Do you think she might have written it?"

"I wouldn't go _that_ far."

"Think about it. Throughout the story, the author frequently mentions that Hermione is not very pretty, and the author is obviously not fond of Hermione. We all know Hermione is very self-critical."

"Hmm… Interesting thought. I'll let you take the liberty of interrogating her as you like."

"All right then…" An evil grin formed on Fred's face. "Come with me, and do as I do, but remain silent and let me do the talking."

"Okay."

Hermione wished she had a set of their Extendable Ears right now. She couldn't hear a word of what they were saying. Her suspicions were coming back to her. Suddenly the twins turned around and cornered in on her, giving her evil grins.

"What?" she asked nervously.

Silence from the grinning Weasleys.

"What?!" she asked even more nervously.

Here Fred spoke, but it was barely more than a whisper.

"We know what you did, Hermione. We know about the story, and all that you did with it. So please, enlighten us… How long have you liked him?"

At this, Fred was less-than specific, so that way Hermione could easily be led off-kilter with his statement. But if his suspicions were correct, it should send Hermione delving into not a confession, but a question.

"How did you guys figure this out?" she asked.

Exactly. As. Planned.

George took his cue perfectly, and asked, "Figure out what, Hermione?" He said this with a sneer that made it seem like he was in on it the whole time.

That was the wrong thing to say.

"Wait- can you explain to me what you figured out, George? Or did you want me to go into an explanation because you didn't know and wanted me to go into an explanation?"

George's frown left in a second, and Hermione knew she got him.

Fred quickly responded. "It was actually I who had this theory. George is only here to intimidate."

"Then what is your brilliant theory?"

"Well, regardless of any theory I may or may not have, _you_ were the one who asked me how we figured out what we did. And given our earlier discussion, I think it's safe to assume that you were still thinking about that subject."

"You have no proof!" Hermione almost yelled.

"Was that a confession?"

"NO!"

"Regardless of whether or not you _did_ have something to do with the writing, we know you like Harry," said George.

Perfect timing. Hermione turned as red as their hair. Then she sputtered out a quick "I have to go" and ran out of the room, still blushing.

The twins looked after her as she disappeared from their sight.

"Thank you so much, George. I needed that."

"Any time."

Silence between the two.

"We need to get Dean back down here," said Fred.

~0~

The next day, Hermione woke up in a cold sweat. She looked around. She was the only one in her dorm. Of course… it was a Saturday. Everybody would be in the Great Hall by now.

It was at this moment she began to hear some sort of commotion downstairs. She briefly wondered what all the racket was, but then….

She remembered. They knew she had something to do with the story. She didn't remember to stick it to them that in their cowardice they admitted they had the story to begin with.

She hurriedly went down to the common room, and found to her horror, was the Weasley Twin's newest publication. She stood aghast, as if petrified again, and the whole room turned to her.

She didn't notice the twins walking over to her, until they got to her. They, in unison, handed her a copy, which bore on the front cover, a perfect drawing of her and Harry, holding each other as if in love. It was the mannequin drawing of Dean's from last night, only it was improved to the point of perfection. And the title….

Dang, why couldn't she think of a title this good?

**HARMONY**

_A Fiction Story Detailing the _

_Falling in Love _

_of the Boy Who Lived and his Best Friend, _

_The Brightest Witch of Her Age_

_Published by Fred and George Weasley_

_Author Unknown_

"Cheers, Hermione! We found this book about you and Harry, and we couldn't resist sharing it with the world. For a hefty profit, of course."

The twins looked at her with a smirk that no one else could see. Hermione knew what that smirk meant.

They'd won this round.

Hermione started shaking, then noticed everyone was watching her. She came up with a plan to save face in record time. She began to shout.

"_I swear in the name of all that is right and holy that whoever wrote this rubbish, I am going to find, and they will suffer a slow and painful death courtesy of the Brightest Witch of Her Age that they chose to write so inattentively about!"_

She finished her rant, and found to her genuine surprise, that Harry was downstairs, his mouth agape. Ron was behind him as per normal, attempting to hold back laughter (but not managing to very well).

The twins incessantly marched over to Harry, and gave him a copy.

"Enjoy, Wonder Boy," said George. The twosome then beckoned themselves away from the situation. Harry read the cover. He glanced up at Hermione, then his face grew red with anger, it seemed.

"_I am going to find whoever the hell wrote this and kill them_," he seethed.

"Fantastic!" said Fred. "So why don't you two collaborate on this investigation?"

Harry and Hermione looked at each other.

"Let's go to the Great Hall. We can discuss it there," said Harry.

"Uh… Okay," was Hemrione's measly reply.

And ignoring the many childish "oohs" that came about at this, Harry and Hermione walked out of the Gryffindor common room to further discuss whatever plans Harry had in mind.

-end of chapter I-

So, what did you think of the opening chapter? Tell me in the reviews, if I got characters/settings/grammar/anything wrong, tell me and I'll fix it as soon as I can. No flaming or you'll indubitably be on the receiving end of an obliterating attack.

Thank you for reading. For to come in the near future.


	2. The Investigation In This Matter Begins

_Disclaimer_: I actually own everything. Just kidding. I own nothing except the premise through which I have the characters created by JKR play through. The scenario in which the story is set takes place in a partially-AU fifth year, in which Voldemort was defeated (again) by Harry at the graveyard at the end of fourth year. I won't go into detail about this, so you can make up your own scenarios.

Also there are countless references inside to many other pieces of fiction, primarily the anime/manga _Death Note. _Not enough to be considered a crossover, though.

Anyway, onwards….again…..!

**Chapter 2: The Investigation into This Matter Begins**

Harry and Hermione were seated at the Gryffindor Table in the Great Hall, fully aware that they were the only two occupants. All the other Gryffindors were, regrettably, still in the common room.

This worried their Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Lupin, who Dumbledore managed to re-hire in the spot despite his "condition". He gave a double-take when he saw that no Gryffindors (save Harry and Hermione) were present for breakfast. He naturally went to ask the two of the circumstances.

"Excuse me, Harry? Hermione? Would you happen to know where everyone else is?"

They were quiet for a moment, possibly paling, possibly blushing (but only Lupin could tell, and frankly, he wasn't about to say who did what), before Hermione answered, "theyreinthecommonroom".

"What?"

"They're in the common room."

"Well, what are they doing in there?"

"They're buying the twin's newest product," said Harry through his teeth.

"_Oh. _And what might I ask would this be? Not that I'm going to get onto them, I'm just curious."

Hermione had her head _down_ with anger. "It's a _romantic novella_."

Harry looked confused. "What?"

_Whoops. Shouldn't have used that word._

"Oh, a novella… It's not long enough to be a novel, but not short enough to be a short story. It's called a novella."

"Oh, okay."

Lupin spoke up again. "Well that makes a lot of sense. They write it?"

Hermione answered "I don't know" and Harry answered "No". They looked at each other again, then Hermione answered, "It was labeled 'anonymous author' so I have no clue if they wrote it or not."

"Okay. Then why are you two the only ones here in the…"

Lupin came to a conclusion. "Is it about you two?"

Each slowly nodded.

"All right… Well, I guess I'll see you in class today. Goodbye."

And, ignoring his desire to read whatever this was the twins had for the time being, he left for the staff table.

Now that they were alone again, Hermione asked Harry, "So, of this investigation, I guess you could call it - what are we going to do?"

Harry considered, then replied, "Well, if you want my honest opinion, it'll be really boring. Plus, with us together all the time, people will think we're dating now that the book's come out."

"That's true. They'd embarrass us to no end."

"They'd embarrass _you_ to no end. I can take this kind of rejection. I did before."

"So, based on your observations, I think I have a plan."

"Fire away."

"You and I split up and make a game out of this investigation. The winner has the other do a certain dare or request that would humiliate the loser."

Harry's first question was, "Can I make a team to help?"

Hermione was taken off-guard. "Why?"

"So Ron can join in."

"Oh….Yeah, I don't see why not."

Harry smirked precariously. "Okay then. What are you going to do if you win?"

Hermione thought about it for a moment, then was reminded of one of her dreams where Harry was… Yes, that was it! A secret desire of hers that would be equally embarrassing for Harry.

"If I find the culprit first, you will wear a dress…every day…for a week…on my jurisdiction."

Harry started laughing. "All right, that works, now for you…"

Harry thought a bit as well, then uttered, "You will deliberately fail every assignment and exam you are given… every day…for a week…" – he paused before the kill – "…on my jurisdiction."

Hermione paled. Of course, should Harry actually find out who really _did_ write it, she would suffer a much horrid fate… the probable loss of friendship with him.

So, to save face (again) she said, "You're on."

As if on cue, Ron showed up at what he thought was the sound of his name. "Here I am."

Harry and Hermione looked at him simultaneously, deciding not to tell him she had said "You're on" instead of "You, Ron". They also took notice of the fact that now all the other Gryffindors were filing in, one by one. Each, it seemed, had something book-shaped tucked under his/her arm.

Now that they noticed it, so did Ron.

"Ron!" yelled Hermione. "What's under your robes there?"

"…nothing."

"Come on, what is it?!"

"Fine."

And thus Ron pulled out his copy of _Harmony_, personally autographed by the twins with a "_Trio Member #3/Family Member discount! 5% off_".

They both looked in shock at the book, then at Ron, who looked fidgety.

"So what? They gave me a discount!"

"Ron, five percent off of fifteen dollars is still roughly fourteen dollars or more."

"…bloody hell."

"Ron, are you enjoying this book?" asked Hermione incredulously.

"Well, it's well written."

"Ron, what are you implying?!"

"Nothing at all."

"Ron, you didn't answer my first question. Do you like this book?"

Awkward silence. Harry face-palmed.

"ANSWER ME RON!"

"Yes, okay? Is that illegal?"

Secretly Hermione was happy at the fact that for once, Ron was enjoying one of her stories. But regardless, her façade continued.

"Why do you like it?"

"Well, my mum always use to read sappy romance stories, and I guess… you could say they've grown on me slightly…"

"What about the fact it's us?!"

"Well, I like that someone wrote about me, for one."

_He obviously hasn't gotten to chapter 8 yet._

It was here that Harry interrupted.

"Look, Ron, can we drop it? We have more important things to discuss."

Heeding Harry's advice, Ron sat down in front of the other two trio members.

"Yes?" asked Ron.

"Hermione and I are going to try to find out who wrote this story and give them due punishment. That's what we were talking about before you walked in."

"Oh, okay. But won't it look weird considering the story's about you two?"

"Let me finish. Anyway, we were thinking about just that, and we decided it would be for the best if we made this a sort-of competition. Hermione would try to find the culprit, and I would do the same, and whoever finds them first has the other do something humiliating."

Ron was smiling. "You'd better win, Harry."

"Ron!" said Hermione in a sarcastic disappointment.

"As I was saying," finished Harry, "I'd like to recruit you for my investigation team, Ron."

Ron brightened up immensely. "You want me to help you on a mystery, Harry?"

"And as much as I hate to say it, if you help me and we catch the culprit first, you get to gloat in the victory with me."

Ron was in a rush to blurt out "I'm in!" He and Harry shook hands like best friends would when they'd team up for something important, and Hermione took this as her cue to leave. She'd have breakfast later.

~0~

Hermione flopped onto her bed in her dorm. It was just her luck that she was alone, so she could meticulously plan diabolical things without having to cast a Silencing Charm. Crookshanks hopped to her side.

"Oh, Crookshanks, what am I going to do? This investigation will probably inevitably lead to my discovery as the author… How am I going to stop them?"

Crookshanks meowed at her side. It was them that Hermione had an idea.

"Crookshanks… I read a book about a culprit covering up his own guilt by pretending to be an investigator… and since I am technically investigating this already, I can just pretend to be solving the mystery, while in fact, I can be setting bait for Harry and Ron and whoever else they might eventually find to get on their team! Knowing them, they'll just get friends to do it, and won't have any real leads… so if I set enough traps and enough dead ends, they'll eventually just give up! Ha! It's brilliant!"

She started to giggle like a little girl that was given a new puppy. Then she though more about it and said, "Well then, what bait am I going to set up?"

And then a new realization struck her.

"And the Twins… they know I at least have something to do with this… I can't use a Memory Charm or else it'll look suspicious…" She thought some more. "I'll simply just bribe them."

_Easier said than done_, said a voice in the back of her head.

~0~

It was very surprising to both Harry and Ron that Hermione was almost late to Defense Against the Dark Arts with Lupin, but she said she had to go get something in her dorm, and the two weren't really at a position to question her, considering the teacher had just walked back in again.

"All right, good morning class…" said Lupin. "Today, there's really not much to talk about, considering today was going to be the day you all were to finish your essays, but however you all finished them yesterday for some odd reason…"

He took this moment to glare slightly at our favorite trio, who all, save for Hermione, smiled guiltily.

"So today, I see no reason that you can't have a free day in this class, although most of you will end up getting a slightly bad grade on the essay itself because of the similarity of all of your ideas." At this Lupin went to go sit back don in his office.

And the class took off into each student's respective conversation.

Hermione mostly kept to herself, writing something on a piece of spare parchment she always seemed to have. Harry and Ron took this chance to talk about their predicament involving their team.

"Who else should we get involved in this mystery?" asked Ron.

"I don't know… who would be useful?" asked Harry.

"Well, if they weren't the cause of all this, I'd say we get the Twins, but considering as they're part of the reason behind this, I don't think they'd want to help us."

"And they might hinder us slightly."

"True."

There was silence in the classroom from them and them only. Then Ron had an incredible and at the same time slightly ludicrous idea.

"What about Colin?"

Harry stopped in his thoughts.

"Huh?" he asked incredulously.

"Colin Creevey? You know, the little 4th year who got petrified by the basilisk through his camera lenses?"

"I know who he is, Ron… it's just that why would he get involved in this?"

"Think about it," explained Ron. "He'll always be taking pictures of evidence we may find. He'll also be extremely loyal to you. Plus his rather small… stature… will help him to sneak into places we may not be able to reach."

"When would something like that happen?"

"Trust me, Harry. I'm preparing for the worst here."

Harry sighed. "I know I'm probably going to both regret saying this and jinx us, but what's the worst that could happen?"

"Well… In the book, there have been a lot of terrifying situations that the characters – meaning us – get into. I think we're caught in a giant trap at one point."

"All right, Ron. All right. I'll talk to him about it, but I don't want him going all fan-boy on me. If he does, there's no way he's getting into our group. If not… I'll consider it."

"Thanks."

"Any more brilliant suggestions?" Harry asked, the sarcasm breaking forth.

Ron paused. "Ginny?" he asked.

Harry choked on a breath when Ron mentioned his sister's name. "Err… I don't really think so."

"Seamus?"

"Maybe."

"Dean?"

"No. He drew the cover to the thing, he probably won't be too keen on helping us ruin his glory. Plus the twins probably have bribed him."

"Oh yeah."

Silence. Then Harry had an idea –

"What about Luna Lovegood?"

Ron gave a double-take, then stared at Harry wide-eyed. "Loony Lovegood? Are you s-serious?"

As much as Harry would have loved to do the old serious-Sirius joke, he didn't indulge himself. Instead he replied: "Yes, Ron. I'm serious. She's smart. And she can think outside of the box."

"With her thinking, you'll think there never was a thinking box to begin with."

"That's what I'm thinking. Except that in this situation, I think it'll be an advantage."

"You think?" piped up Hermione from her paper.

"Well Hermione, what would you do in this situation?" asked Harry.

Hermione considered, then replied with a confident smirk: "I would take this into my own hands because I know I can do things like this since I've done mystery-solving before at this school."

Ron scoffed. Although he knew she was right, he spout, "Well, _we_ figured out that Moaning Myrtle died."

Hermione stared blankly at him.

"She's a ghost, Ron."

"Regardless," said Harry, stopping the incoming argument before it could reach full-throttle, "We're doing separate investigations here, so never mind. Forget I asked you, Hermione. No hard feelings."

Hermione chuckled. "Thanks, Harry."

It was about five seconds before they realized that the whole room had been staring at their little exchange in silence. When the two looked up at them, the observers went back to giggling, chatting, or (for once) reading. And they made it apparent to Harry and Hermione_ what_ they were reading.

Hermione put her head down in embarrassment and shame. Harry got angry, then turned to Ron with a newfound inspiration and confidence.

"Where's Colin?"

~0~

It was at lunch that Fred and George decided to expand their business locale. Although it cost about three galleons more than the original price, _Harmony_ soon became available to Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws alike. They didn't sell to Slytherins yet. They would have to wait until the price went up a bit more.

And thus the story about Hermione Granger's love for Harry Potter spread like wildfire throughout the school. Everyone seemed to be talking about it, and gossiping seemed to be the primary mode of speech for most of the students.

The staff table (for the most part) seemed to be slightly unaware of any disturbances. Many professors seemed unfazed by the passing of events, mainly because not many of them knew. Hagrid was chuckling under his breath, mumbling something along the lines of "…'knew one day ey'd be toge'er…" and "…really perfec' couple…" whereas Professor Lupin had acquired a copy of the book and was reading it feverishly underneath the table, contemplating sending a copy to Sirius (because Merlin knew he had nothing else to do).

Professor McGonagall noticed that the students seemed to be gossiping about the same thing: Harry and Hermione. Concerned, she discussed the matter to Professor Dumbledore.

"Excuse me, Albus?" she asked. Dumbledore tilted his head to look at her.

"Yes?"

"Have you noticed that Mr. Potter and Mrs. Granger seem to be the topic on most of the minds of the students today?"

Dumbledore raised his eyebrows in slight surprise.

"Oh, have they finally become a couple? I was waiting for it since 1st year, it's about time. I was expecting it to take much longer than it has."

This went completely over McGonagall's head, so much so that she forgot her point.

It was at this point that the Golden Trio entered the Great Hall for lunch. The entire student body stopped whatever it was they were doing at that moment, and turned to stare at Harry and Hermione.

Hermione took this as her cue and excuse to go back up to the Gryffindor common room for lunch. She had business to attend to anyway, and if her reverse psychology worked, then her plan would be in full swing.

Her reverse psychology _did_ work, as the Twins followed her out of the Great Hall to talk to/tease her.

However, Ron and Harry stayed in the Great Hall, as they had business to attend to here. They had to find and locate a certain student with a camera around his neck. He was at the Gryffindor table, as he should have been, but his attention was not on his food, it seemed.

Harry and Ron walked up to him, and sat down on either side of him. Colin did a double take, not expecting Harry or Ron to appear so suddenly (or really, at all).

"Hello, Colin," said Harry cautiously.

"Hi, Harry!" said the younger boy. "I haven't talked to you in a while, have I?" he asked. Harry shook his head, as Colin turned to Ron. "Hello, Ron."

"Hi."

The two respectfully shook hands, then Colin turned back to Harry. "What is it? I'll make a safe bet you wouldn't come over to me unless it was something rather important, right?"

"Yeah," said Harry. "Listen, I've sure you've heard about the whole _Harmony_ book shenanigan, right?"

"Of course."

"Right, so what happened today, Hermione and I started a bet on who would be able to find the author first, and whoever wins gets to make the other do something humiliating. So you can see two reasons why I want to win."

Silence.

"Meaning…?" asked Colin.

"I'm organizing a team to help me with the investigation. I was wondering if you'd like to be on it."

Colin looked confused. "Why me?"

"Well… Ron, explain to him."

Ron seemed slightly flustered for words, then said, "Well… your camera would be very useful in several situations, and so would your small size"-

"Thanks for the boost of self-confidence," Colin interrupted.

"Whatever, we just would like to have you on the team, okay? Why would you have to ask why you'd be useful?"

"You guys don't know me very well, do you?"

Harry went out of his comfort zone, and simply asked Colin, "Do you want to be on the team or not?"

Colin pondered his practicality for a moment, then said, "Sure. But if you guys don't need me anymore"-

Ron stopped him before he could say anything else. Harry felt slightly guilty. He didn't know Colin had this low of self-esteem. He wondered why briefly, before tucking into the lunch placed before him.

~0~

Hermione entered the Gryffindor common room with high expectations, and decided to hide behind the couch, to where the twins couldn't see her.

Soon enough, Fred and George came in. Fred called out for her once, then Hermione struck.

"_Petrificus Totalus!_" she yelled, and Fred was petrified on the ground. George bolted, and hid behind the adjacent chair.

"_Rictusempra!_"

"_Petrifi"-_

George's spell hit Hermione square in the chest, and she doubled over, laughing. He then ran to help his brother. Hermione managed to grab her wand and hastily tried to fire a trip jinx at him amidst all her laughter, and she somehow managed to, sending George flying against the floor.

Still recovering from her laughing fit, Hermione got up, and managed to petrify George before he got up again. She smiled at them.

"Hello there. How are you?" No answer from the two twins.

One last giggle came from Hermione before she cast another incantation. "_Wingardium Leviosa"_.

She levitated the two boys up to their dorm, before she sat them down on a bed.

"Now before I un-petrify you, I want you two to swear to absolute secrecy and _not_ try to escape the room. If you try to escape and/or tell anyone what I'm about to confide in you, you will have a variety of spells, jinxes, charms, and curses places on you, none of which are pleasant or temporary. Have I made myself clear?"

They tried to nod, but considering they were petrified, they didn't managed much.

She un-petrified them, and gently they sat up on the bed.

"So what is it that you needed to confide in us with, Granger?" asked a simultaneously-curious-and-furious Fred.

"I now kindly ask you two not to mention to anybody my association with the story you guys published, _Harmony_."

Fred and George looked at each other, then looked at Hermione.

"So what you're saying…" said Fred, "is that what we said was true?"

"Yes," answered Hermione.

"All of it?" asked George.

"Yes."

"So does that mean you _do_ have a crush on Harry?" asked Fred again.

"…Y-yes," stuttered Hermione, who was now a bright shade of red.

At this confession, Fred held his hand out to George.

"Well, George old buddy, I'm sorry to say that I won the bet we placed in 4th year. She does like him, so I'll gladly take my fifty galleons now." Fred wore a victorious smirk as George grumbled something incoherent as he reached around in his pocket.

"So… Are all my secrets safe with you two?" asked Hermione.

"Despite our outward appearances, Hermione, we have never squealed someone's secret to someone else unless it was completely necessary," responded Fred. "The only condition under which I would tell your secrets to anyone would be if Harry liked you too. And if/when we find that out, we'll tell you all of his secrets too, in exchange for his knowing yours."

"That's not going to happen anyway, so I guess I should trust you guys then…"

She got up. "If you'll excuse me now, I need to go eat lunch. You two can say whatever you want to say about what you teased me about, and I'll leave you now to your own devices."

Hermione stopped in he tracks, then turned around for a last comment to the twins.

"Oh, and I'm not really into the jokes and pranks bit, but you guys should try the whole cockatoo crumpets bit. It sounds hilarious."

And with that she left.

"Okay then. Thanks, Hermione," said Fred, who now was fifty galleons richer than he was at the beginning of the conversation.

~0~

It was in the hallways on the way back to the Great Hall that Hermione came up with the first of many plans to come. If she could find a way to trick them into thinking they were going to meet up with the author, and then prank them into thinking they were being attacked, so they might not go looking for the author anymore.

She smiled. The plan was brilliant! She simply needed to take a quick detour to the Owlrey, and mail a letter. She grabbed a piece of parchment she had in her robes and, using her left hand to disguise her handwriting, she hastily wrote down a letter, then folded it, put it in an envelope addressed to _Mrs. Hermione Potter _(which Harry would realize she would never do, and partly confirm that it was the author writing it; plus Hermione couldn't resist), and gave it to the nearest owl.

"Don't give it back to me until tomorrow morning, okay?" she asked the owl.

It hooted once back at her, then flew off. Somehow she knew it wasn't coming back until tomorrow.

Now for some lunch.

~0~

The next morning, Hermione sat down at her usual place in the Great Hall, next to Harry, Ron, and…

"Colin?" she asked the boy upon sitting down. "What are you doing here?"

The 4th year scratched the back of his neck and replied, "I'm helping them with the investigation."

"Oh, I see."

Ron was smirking. Hermione noticed this, and quite fearfully asked, "Ron? Why are you"-

"NOW COLIN!"

On cue, Colin grabbed his camera and took a candid shot of Hermione, who yelped, and unsuccessfully tried to hide her face. Then she turned to glare at Ron.

"Ron! You know I don't like having my picture taken!"

Before she could appropriately pummel Ron with one of her books, the morning owls arrived. She smirked slightly in expectation, then quickly wiped it off so as not to look suspicious.

It seemed that half of the student body seemed to be receiving packages in orange-and-purple packaging that seemed about the size of a book. Many students were happy to be receiving their _Harmony_ books, which on the inside delighted Hermione, but on the outside embarrassed her. In desperation, she looked to the staff table to see if they had seen any of this, but to her surprise she had found that Professors Flitwick, McGonagall, and Dumbledore all had also gotten a package like the students. She saw also that Hagrid got one and Lupin got _three_.

Hermione stared blankly into thin air after seeing this, then quickly shook it off with an after-note to ask Lupin later why in the name of Sam Hill he would have gotten _three_ of them…

Seriously_…_

Suddenly an owl came to her with a letter entitled _Mrs. Hermione Potter. _Her gratification at receiving her own letter slightly faded when she realized that the owl that dropped this on her was not the owl she gave the letter to yesterday. Her hopes faded tremendously when another letter dropped in front of her entitled _Mrs. Hermione Potter._

She sighed as about five more letters dropped in front of her with the same name written on the front of each. Ron grabbed one, saw the front, and bust out into a fit of uncontrollable guffawing. Harry and Colin grabbed one. Colin face-palmed, and Harry turned to Hermione.

"How many of these did you get?" he asked.

"I think seven," was Hermione's answer.

One last package entered the Great Hall, and Hermione followed it to the Ravenclaw table, where it landed in front of one Luna Lovegood. Luna squeaked almost, tore open the packaging, and started to read.

Harry looked at his own pile of letters, which Hermione only just noticed he had. He smirked, then looked at Hermione again.

"Should I open one?" he asked her.

She smirked too. "Go ahead."

He opened it. "_Dear Mr. Harry Potter_," he read in a very showy and dramatic voice, "_Congratulations on your engagement to Ms. Hermione Granger. I've wanted the two of you to get together since you were 1__st__ years! I've waited this long, so don't let any of us down. Loved the book, by the way. Sincerely, a friend_."

There was a clamber down the table, and Hermione looked down to see that Parvati Patil had heard Harry read the letter and choked on her milk, blushing like a beet.

Unfazed, Harry asked her, "Why don't you read one of yours?"

"Sure, okay." She was smiling by now too, and picked up one of her letters. Making sure it wasn't hers, she opened it and read;

"_You two are the most perfect and harmonious couple I have ever seen! Long live Harmony! Signed, a first year_."

Hermione glanced at the paper again with wide eyes. "Well, they've got to be a first year, they spelled 'couple' with two 'p's and no 'o'. Not to mention they spelled 'two' T-O-O."

"You're a grammar freak, Hermione," said Ron.

"Why, thanks for the complement."

She looked over again at Luna over at the Ravenclaw table. She was still reading. Then, Luna looked up at Hermione – and smirked.

Then she went back to reading.

~0~

It was after reading the other five fan letters addressed to Mrs. Potter that Hermione finally came upon her own handwriting.

_Dear Mrs. Potter,_

_I am the original author of the story that the Twins published, Harmony. I had wanted to keep my identity secret for a while, and I still plan to do so. But the thing is… I know that you all are looking for me. And I don't think I'll disappoint._

_Tell Mr. Potter and his troupe of 'investigators' to meet me near the dungeons at midnight tonight. I'll be waiting._

Hurriedly she showed this to Harry in the common room, who beckoned Ron over. Colin came too (to Harry's slight annoyance), while Harry read the letter for himself.

"What are you going to do, Harry?" asked Colin.

"Well… I'm going to try to see if they can actually do what they say they are going to do, and meet us at the dungeons at midnight tonight. If they do, we'll probably see them unless they are a 7th year who can easily disguise themselves with a Disillusionment Charm or something."

"So…?" asked Ron.

"I think we go down there," concluded Harry.

Colin smiled nervously, and Ron smirked. Ron asked Hermione, "Are you coming too?"

"As much as I would like to find out the culprit, the letter was addressed to you, so I think if I came things would go haywire _very_ quickly. Plus I wouldn't be fair in the bet if we did find out who it was at the same time, otherwise it would be annulled."

"So you're admitting defeat?" asked Harry, with amazement on his face.

"No. There's something fishy going on, if you ask me, so I think I'm pretty positive you won't find out who the author is tonight. So, in other words, I think I'm safe."

Harry started to laugh. "Oh, you're on, Hermione. I think I'm going to find out exactly who it is tonight _anyway_. If I do, what 'll you say to that?"

Hermione laughed too. "Whoever it is, I think they are going to cause trouble tonight. I need to prepare yourselves for the worst."

Ron leaned back. "Was I right, or was I right?"

Harry considered. "We need a fall guy."

"What do you mean by that?" asked Colin.

"What I mean is, we need someone who we can blame everything on if something goes wrong," said Harry. Hermione smiled.

Then Ron had an epiphany.

"Seamus!"

~0~

All it really took to get Seamus to come with them was the promise of an adventure. Four years of watching on the sidelines as Harry Potter went on all these magical and perilous adventures had made him slightly itchy, so he jumped at the chance (although he loved the story regardless).

"So, Seamus? I was wondering if you wanted to help us with our investigation," was what Harry told him.

"What investigation?" the Irishman asked.

"Me, Ron, and Colin are organizing a team to help track down the anonymous writer of the _Harmony_ story, and we need an extra guy, so we figured you would work."

"I'll do it." Seamus had a bizarre grin on his face, like he'd been waiting for something like this to happen.

Team Harry (as was their temporary name until someone thought of something better) held a team conference and debriefing in the Common Room that evening. Hermione watched this eagerly, partly to amuse herself, and partly because she wanted to scout out what kind of situation there would be.

Harry cleared his throat and stood up. All eyes were trained on him.

"So… What we're dealing with is an unknown person that we know wrote the story. Now, that's the only thing we know about them. Colin, what I need you to do tonight is try to get a picture of them, so bring your flash with you."

Colin was overenthusiastic about this.

"What role do I play in this shenanigan?" asked Seamus.

"Well, you're extra help, and you're an extra person to subdue the culprit if we do manage to catch them tonight," explained Harry.

"Plus, if something goes wrong, we blame you," said a brutally honest Ron.

In the ensuing argument, Hermione went up to her dorm, but halfway there, she stopped. This would be as good of a time as any, she supposed, to practice a new spell she read about. She spoke the incantation.

"_Nonadspectat veridis._"

She had heard rumors about a "Notice-Me-Not" spell that made all surrounding people ignore you completely without meaning to. She had naturally read up on the spell all yesterday at the library while concocting her plan.

And as all the books said, nothing happened.

Wondering if it would work or not, Hermione strolled back down into the common room, where the argument over being the fall guy was taking place. No one seemed to notice her, they all just continued to picker and pout like immature children.

So she decided to get a bit closer. She stood right in front of Ron, and his face automatically averted to keep looking at Seamus, and from the look of it, Ron hadn't noticed anything.

She smiled proudly, then went back up to her dorm unnoticed.

~0~

At fifteen minutes before midnight, Harry went down to the common room with a prized possession of his tucked under his arm – his Invisibility Cloak.

When he went down, Colin was already there, asleep on one of the couches. It briefly passed Harry's mind to leave Colin here while the others went, but his guilt overtook him. He wouldn't be a very good role model to the boy either.

So he decided to wake the boy up.

"Colin!" he hissed under his breath.

"Rowena..?..."

"No, Colin! It's Harry."

Colin jerked awake, camera around his shoulder.

"I'm ready, Harry"-

"Sh! Keep quiet! ...and who's Rowena?"

Colin's eyes shot to the stairs, "Oh look it's Seamus…"

Seamus was indeed walking down the stairs, rubbing his eyes.

"All right, I'm here," he mumbled.

"Where's Ron?" asked Harry.

"The bildrat's still sleeping. I tried to wake him up, but he's out cold. He snores like a walrus."

It took Harry a good five minutes of prying and pushing before Seamus finally resorted to drastic measures.

"Hey, Ron? Luna's here. She wants to make out with you." At this, Ron jerked awake.

Colin had never heard such colorful language in all his life.

In about five more minutes, they were all prepared down in the common room

"Okay, what I'm about to show you is a hand-me-down from my dad. It might be the only one I have, but I might need to check again. So, anyway…"

Harry unfolded the Invisibility Cloak. Ron was snickering, since he'd been in this situation before. Colin beamed. Seamus looked slightly frightened. "How are we all going to fit under that?!"

"Well…it's bigger than it looks."

And this was how the whole situation of trying to fit everyone underneath the Cloak began. It ended up, after a lot of agitation, that the Cloak would fit, but the bottoms of all their shoes would still be seen. A worthy sacrifice, since they probably were not going to be running into anyone that would look down in a hurry anyway.

And they scuttled out of the common room, the Fat Lady making quite an unimpressed look at them as they headed out.

Five minutes later, a bushy-haired girl with a Notice-Me-Not charm put on herself (who also had been watching the whole time trying to keep from laughing) exited the common room as well.

~0~

Near the dungeons.

Midnight.

Harry, Ron, Seamus, and Colin took off the Invisibility Cloak, and Harry proclaimed to the darkness, "We are here. Like you told us in your letter to Hermione. What do you want?"

An UnNoticed Hermione took out her wand, and cast an incantation that made words appear in the air next to Harry and his team.

_I WANT YOU TO STOP LOOKING FOR ME_

They all read this with unease.

"Where are you?" asked Seamus.

No answer. Not in spoken words or in the letters beamed in front of them. Silence.

"Do you think they're making themselves invisible, Harry?" asked Ron.

"I don't know… Colin?"

"Yeah, Harry?"

"Use your flash, take pictures of the place in the dark."

Colin did this and took a panorama of the area. Hermione managed to run from his snapshots to avoid being captured by the camera's lenses. Her simple maneuver managed to help her escape identification.

"I got nothing," Colin said when he reviewed his shots over again.

"Right then…" Harry once more shouted into the darkness. "Why do you want to keep your identity secret?" he asked.

The words reformed themselves again.

_IF YOU DON'T STOP LOOKING FOR ME YOU'LL GET HURT_

"How will we get hurt?" asked Seamus skeptically.

He was then hit in the face with a Bat-Bogey Hex, and hundreds of bats flew out of his nose, and he fell to the ground. Harry, Ron, and Colin drew their wands.

"Damn it, Harry! Where are they?!" yelled Ron.

Ron was suddenly petrified, and he fell to the floor frozen in his yell. Harry and Colin were alone.

"Harry?" asked Colin, slightly terrified.

Hermione watched them circle about, back-to-back. She didn't want to seriously hurt any of them (at least not Harry or Colin), so she just decided to send a Disarming spell Harry's way.

"_Expelliarmus_," she whispered.

Colin saw the red streak of light coming Harry's way, and before the spell could hit anyone, Colin blasted the first thing that came to his mind.

"_BOMBARDA!"_

The force of the spell sent Colin flying backwards, and allowed the Disarming spell to miss Harry. Hermione almost dodged Colin's spell.

Almost.

The spell hit her in the side, and she fell to the ground in pain. It took all of her might to not make any sound to reveal herself, and she barely managed to get up and run out of the room just before her Notice-Me-Not spell wore off.

It was just the luck of Harry and his fellow investigators that Professors McGonagall, Snape, and Flitwick were running into the room at this precise moment, wondering what in the blazes was going on.

~0~

Hermione ran back into her dorm, the pain in her side becoming unbearable. She flopped into her bed and assessed the damage the bombardment had done.

Her side was a sickly color of blue and purple that nearly made her faint at the sight. She attempted to work several of her healing charms on it, but nothing seemed to work.

It was just her luck that she knew Madam Pomfrey could keep a secret.

~0~

It was about an hour or two later that Harry, Ron, Colin, and Seamus returned to the common room after a thick chewing out from McGonagall and Snape. Nothing they hadn't heard before. They explained to the teachers the whole situation, and this made McGonagall appalled.

However, Harry noticed that when he mentioned the brief synopsis of the story, Snape's draining interest had been regained.

Harry went up to his dorm, and flopped down into his bed, and vaguely saw Ron and Seamus do the same before he noticed that there was something underneath him. He got up and looked-

-and it was another letter. He read it eagerly, and was surprised greatly by its contents-

_Dear Mr. Potter – _

_I happened to witness the entire ordeal with the author trying to disdain your investigation using violence. I hope it hasn't worked. I would like to help you with the investigation. My deductive skills stand as reason to believe I could help you tremendously in the case. If you want to say yes, meet with your team tomorrow at 5:00 in Professor Binn's classroom. And no, it is not an ambush._

_I wish to meet you soon, Mr. Potter._

_L._

_P.S. I greatly admire your cloak._

Below the letter was his Cloak.

-end of chapter II-

_Well?_ Like-hate-review-favorite-follow-whatever. I bet this is not the direction you expected, huh? And I thought the first chapter was long.

AND NO. IT'S NOT A CROSSOVER. ALL WILL BE EXPLAINED IN THE NEXT CHAPTER.

Until later… Thanks for reading.


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